John Wilker

*Dad, the summer of 2007, with his sister Dorothy.

The following is what my stepbrother wrote about my dad Just after his death. It's a beautiful tribute for the last 20 years of his life. Prior to that Dad was married to my Mom for 42 years. In this day and age, it's different to hear of someone married for 62 years!

We had a gathering at my sister's house on Sunday - which was really nice for the family as the actual memorial service will not be until mid-April. My cousins were there - you know the ones that you would like to get to know better, but your lives keep you apart. I guess that there are a bit of friction between my mother and my uncle - so we didn't visit but once a year (sad, too as they only live 90 miles away).

Peacefulness, The final moments, In memorium ... but finally just the tribute; "John Wilker"

As you may already know he died peacefully at 6:56 (CST) this morning (2/24). In retrospect his struggle was short, yet it seemed like forever. He lived a vigorous life traveling this hemisphere with my mother until 3 weeks ago. I do not know many 87 year old men that could drive that big RV and keep it constantly tinkered with and in shape. I saw a man that loved my mother, as she loved him. Being there to watch their love as he lay in an ICU hospital bed, semiconscious, struggling to breathe, unable to move or communicate was a very emotional experience for me....

However it became readily apparent that the stroke left him with no chance of recovery to the vital person he was. In fact it left him with being kept artificially alive via medications and artificial feeding to give him a chance at a recovery that was not to come. Consequently Mom and I came to respect his expressed desire to not merely be alive with no "quality" of life. His death less than 24 hours after withdrawing all medical support shows how poor that quality would have been.
Mom is at peace with the decision and process. Obviously she needs our support as she adjusts to her life without her loving husband and companion....

I celebrate the 20 years my mother had with your father following the loss of my father and your mother.

We ended up telling Dad and Patsy stories, laughing while sharing part of his life with each other. Now you have to remember that my step-mom is also my ex-husband's mother, which really puts a wrench in the works at times, but I believe that we have gotten over that (well, at least I have) portion of our lives...

Dad - I'll miss you - you are in my heart for eternity. I'm glad that we learned to say "I love you" and hugs from the O'Brien side of our clan.

Patsy, thank you for taking such good care of my father during his second childhood. You had a strong influence on Dad and I love you for watching him and taking care of him.